WUT UP CHILLIN

you are being watched...not because it's possible. not because you did something. not because you allow it..but because you are special. how does it feel specialist? everything is the same in your world because you are the everything. you bring war to xanadus. you arrange peace in bacterea because you smile cookie. this discourse was going perfect until you started reading. but you are forgiven because you are the punishment.....delphonic sounds of the 90's blaring through the window of your town car. why must you come around this little town flossing your chips in a tinted town car? i know why...because you eat shit for lunch...shit breath..do i know you. i don't think so love funker..get out of here before you recieve the forever vixen death finger to your temple....i love you. i won't tell you why. it's hard enough to let it go. if the celtic to your left will shut up for just 1 minute, i would be able to give you this here handle on life. do you want the handle? huh fucker? i can't here you. speak up. come see me at the shop. i'll be there. i ain't goin' nowhere marlboro eater. grab your genitals and say my name..just fuckin' around..but really, grab your genitals and say my name one more time and i'll wipe your momma's tears with your underwear. but only after i feed you laxitives in maximum dosage and lock you in 1st internationals onion safe for 3 hours....let me get back to you.

yes dear...

i'll be right right back.

my name could have been george

honest criticism is hard to take...especially from family, friends, aquaintances, and strangers.

see you next time

as another year comes to a close, i find myself wondering if i'm looking in the right places..i know what i want. but do i really know how to get what i want. and if indeed i do know how to get what i want, am i willing to give my all to achieve what i want......

do i stop wanting, and begin to need what i desire. humans tend to get what they need. and if they don't get what they need, they die trying or find an appropiate alternative..when a man is lost in a dessert struggling to maintain body temperature and energy without water, he will come to the conclusion that he needs water. he will do whatever it takes to find that water, because he needs that water. if he doesn't get that water, he will die..but if that thirsty man comes across a bottle of gatorade, he will drink it, because gatorade is an appropriate alternative for water......

failure is one hell of an achievment. it gives you a strong foundation for success...do you know what to do when you succeed..becoming a success gives you a potent recipe for failure..a journey into the dark infested waters of truth will corrode your soul.....

my soul is corroded.......

goodbye,
tiffany

.......................................................................................................................................................................

....i got paid $450 to write that suicide note. tiffany was nice so i gave her a discount..usually when someone is going o kill themselves, you can muster a little more cash outta them. you don't want to get to greedy though because large withdrawals can get detectives curious. and no suicide writer would ever want the cops sniffing their laundry basket...writing this here isn't a good idea either but i am officially retiring from the suicide writing business...my three clients before tiffany were all intelligent thought provoking individuals. i strongly felt that they should all write thier own letters and subsequently talked them into it. not to brag or anything, but i'm pretty good at talking people into things...tiffany was a special case though. she was a little dumb and needed the help. she told me that she was always talking about dark infested waters corroding our souls, so i made that the basis of the letter. i always like to get the corpse input before writing their letter for them..i only take a little tidbit of their shit and put it in. for the most part, i like to keep the letters short and vague. that way it keeps the family guessing..unanswered questions about suicides serve as a delicious haunting tool that lasts for years. if you can drive another member of the same family to committ suicide and find a way to write their suicide note, then you're simply at the top of your class. i never got that enviable opportunity.

GOOD NIGHT...........and good luck

the silence makes you think. it makes you ponder whether there are people out there that want you to think about something specific. like may be their's something they want you to realize and by giving you silence you're going to find it on your own.....and then sometimes the silence causes you to fantasize. i guesse we're all a little different when it comes to the whole stream of our thoughts being connected. time + silence = x. x divided by silence equals time and x dived by time equals silence. words and numbers are'nt the same. these words, time and silence can be interchanged and redefined on any given moment. it seems as though 1 + 1 always equals 2. except that rare occasion when chaos and order seperate and 1 + 1 = 2.1.....................i'm leaving for a few days. i have an undisclosed plan and system to experiment with. if all goes well, no one will have to die......thank you for your time and good night.

Light bulb

the trouble began when that old lady ended up in the hospital...

REASON FOR HOSPITALIZATION:she had fallen and couldn't get up

.....about 15 days ago i came home from a hard days work at the the local office. when i entered the foyer of my building, mrs. hand, the old lady on the first floor, had her hand hanging out of her door with two dollars. she told me to approach her. when i came to a neighborly conversational distance from her, i noticed that it was pitch black in her apartment and she was awkwardly positioned on the floor. her head was just just high enough to give me head. the reason for her circumstance would soon be explained to me. after explanation it was clear to me that her leg was hurt and she needed a new light bulb for her living room. the two dollars was to be payment on a new bulb plus tip for my trouble. i told her i had an extra bulb upstairs and that i would be prompt on retrieving it. i then tried to refuse the money, but she was adamant about paying. after 6 seconds we compromised and i took 50% of the allotted cash. i then dashed upstairs grabbed the bulb and jotted back down.

i stepped over mrs. hand and strolled through her hallway to the living room. i fixed the bulb plus realigned the lighting fixure and made my way back through the hallway. i asked if she needed any help getting back on her feet but she said she was fine and would manage on her own. i thought to myself,"know need to argue with an old lady".........................

a week later i found out she was in the hospital....

that's one way to put it...

i took a dollar from an old helpless lady.she sat on the floor asking for help.i walked over her.

hold me

girl

do you know why you're paranoid...

girl 2

no...well yeah i geuss....i'm a little confused..like a child holding the man next to my father...

girl

do you understand your confusion

girl 2

not really.

girl

you'll know it by the mear ridiculousness of your thought patterns...everything and everyone is.....ridiculous.

million dollar experiment

an experiment is a test under controlled conditions that is made to demonstrate a known truth. to examine the validity of a hypothesis, or determine the effectiveness of something previously untried.

experiment

make 1 million dollars in one year

hypothesis

the momentous occasion of knowledge, experience, and, luck will infiltrate with extreme prejudice

juices

{dil and fon are in a room}

dil

you're a very smart man

fon

oh really. i think you're a smart man also.

dil

respect for one another in todays world is so under appreciated.. what i mean by that is that.....

{dil is cut off fast by fon}

fon

i was kidding fucko land of the losers...get out of here.

{dil leaves the room...5 minutes later, a rather enticing female enters}

fon

hi there cutie pie..whats your name.

daloris

my name is theresa

fon

would you watch your brother have sex?

daloris

that guy eric....he's not my brother. that poor son of a bitch works in kuwait..[huh huh]

fon

who is eric?

daloris

eric i went to high school with..eric lee..he was old and kinda sexy. . you know back then..i can't believe you thaught he was my brother..

fon

i wasn't talking about eric you dumb bitch...get the fuck outa here you cunt.

{daloris leaves the room...}

fon

finnally all has left.

{fon reaches down into his pants ands starts squeezing his balls ever so slightly...his penis starts to rise..it becomes hard and fon begins jacking off.}

fon

oh yeh.............thats right....who's the man....i am..i'ma fuck you whore..real hard slut.

{fon embraces the moment...all of a sudden the door swings wide open..daloris walks in and has amazement on her face}

fon

that looks like amazment on your face...

{daloris stands there in silence starring at fon's cock}

fon

would you like some semen next to that amazment

{a few seconds pass}

daloris

sure

{fon grabs d by the waist and pulls her close to the bed.fons sitting on the bed and d is standing in between his legs. fon moves his hands along d's thighs until he reaches her panties.he slowly places his fingers in her panties and pulls them down her legs while moving his hands along the inside of her thighs.as he pulls the panties down he feels her pussy juices drip over his thumbs.............................daloris and fon go on to have the best sex of there lives..daloris's pussy has never been wetter. and fon has never previouslly made a pussy this wet..they like each other and get married. they have four kids, all of whom become retched losers..daloris gets breast cancer and watches fon get crushed to parylization by a garbage truck...they live in pain until they're in there late 90's and kill themselves by jumping in front of a horse carriage..there kids turn there lives around a couple of years after the suicides and become hollywood superstars..one of the kids,sally, moves into a town called odessa.its a small town in texas..she goes there because at heart she's still a loser.and a loser like her can't take advantage of shit..born a winner she was.it was up to her not to lose.but she did....repeatedly...her brother jimmy,unlike sally, was born a loser. it was up to him to win.

life

Constantly asking questions. Making choices. that would apear to be life....make good desisions and everything should work out smoov...................i asked the wrong question the other day...this means that any of my solutions will be wrong also. or at least thats what would make sense. but one of my answers posed the solution to a question i asked 4 years ago.......4 years ago i asked a question about where my life should go. i asked the question naked and with a british acent....so get off my back. thin the air. osmosis is coming through.... i know your every move. don't you try anything funny....

hello there

a moment in time,

a place that i see.

corroding a crime,

that never will be.

alone in a room,

fate must await.

bored with a broom,

cleaning a slate.

dissapointed?

are you dissapointed in todays government? do you feel like you're being lied to? do you feel like your perceptions of reality are fading? is the stress of your days in reality starting to bog you down? are you ready to give up? do you smell bad?......if the answers to these questions are yes, i'd like you to keep reading.

we all like showers. some like showers with high water preasure and steaming hot water. some of us like cold showers with fat droplets of water pouring over our bodies. some like golden showers with warmth and aroma. some like mental showers that clense our mind from extranious information. some of us like spiritual showers with goblins....what ever the shower may be, we all like the feelings we get mentally and physically when our transum is touched in this way....at DukeHogwild's School for the Dissapointments, we come together to salvage the reckage of our lives by showering in our dissapointments. send me your dissapointments and we'll make sure we find you some towels.

Mind Body Soul & Masterbation

i woke up this morning a little early. Usually it takes me a couple of hours to decide whether or not to get up. it's a tough decision process but it must be done every day, unless of course an emergency transpires waking me at a split in time. this morning there was no emergency, just a massive dose of confusion. It was like i got drunk last night and was still poisoned in the morning. it's all good now though. I just had to take a shit i realized. turds have power, please believe........later, in the afternoon, a little before now, i had a talk with my shrink. my shrink kept touching me. touching my balls infact. i liked it and then thoroughly enjoyed it. my shrink doesn't charge me. we have a deal that if i stay honest i'll keep getting fucked with, so i accepted and till' death do us part.

Back to the future

I was walking around the desolat land fills of planet5113x looking for my old trash bags. i found that my trash had spilled into some other trash that wasn't mine. sifting through the trash made me feel like a detetective. a scavanger walked up to me as i was rumaging and told me i reminded her of stocker she once knew. i said i was flattered and asked her for her name. the conversation went like this.

"my name is stacey"
"oh yah. that's a great name. i never knew a stacey personnally. my name is duke"
"your mother name you duke?"
"no"
"oh"

she paused and stopped blinking for a while. i starred into her eyes as if to learn her mind. i found nothing and kept acting as if i was rummaging. she then proceeded to speak.

"why in heavens name are you starring into my eyes like that"
"well...you're not blinking. and i was trying to read your soul....i do that from time to time."

she waited a second then said"what are you doing here?"
"trying to find some answers"
"what's your question?"
"what are you doing here"
"you came here to find out about me. you didn't even know me until you came here"
"no. i changed the subject because i didn't want to talk about it...what are you doing here stacey?"
"i'm here because i'm sad"
"oohhhhh, sad stacey who's spacey and not tasty"
"....my friend died the other week"
"my bad....so you're trying to live in your memories or something?"
"no. not exactly...see the police said she was murdered, but tiff didn't have an enemy in the world...so i'm here trying to find out what might have caused such an atrocity to happen"
"how was she killed?"
"the police say that someone must have followed her all day the night she was killed...then at the stroke of midnight the killer opened her fridge, pulled out some old jello..............oh i can't even say it....it's so horrible but so sweet at the same time. i'm just so confused...."
"sounds like you need to be alone. it was nice to meet you though."

with a single tear rolling down her cheek she waved goodbye and blew me a kiss. i caught the kiss and rubbed it on my ass cheek and said in a quiet voice," you just kissed my ass bitch"

"what" she said
"i said you pushed piss twice passed and licked"
"huh"
"nothing"

i wandered around a little and decided to go back to the future.

Groundhog Day

I attempted to travel at 99.999999999% the speed of light the other day. I found a black hole, entered it, turned into spaghetti, and found myself spewed out into a bent universe.

a universe that gives me no vision. well, not the vision i need. i'm still able to maintain and perform my daily duties, but not like myself. more like a robot or a man stuck in a time continuem with a centrifugal force that keeps me spun like a fiend sniffing ozone. i like to think thoughts that move into the future. my thoughts, instead, are moving into the past. my vessel, dukehogwild, still walks, talks, and resides within the societal limits during present time. i think they still see him but i can't tell for sure. but that's not a real problem.

the major dilema i have is when i sift through my old trash bags trying to find an answer for the plague of my mind. you see...what i find terrifies me. I know just what it is that slows my progress. but what follows is a paralyzing fear of a certain change. a change that will stay with me forever.

I know what it is. Do i know what must me done?....

whoops

"i'm hot stacey"
"no you're not tiff"
"yes i am"
"as if girl"

i killed one of those girls this morning. i can't say which one.

Scenario # 1

You're sitting down chillin' out catchin' the breeze drinkin' some juice. There's an explosion. The sky is covered, the streets and buildings are crumbled, trees & shrubbery are ablaze, and water is finding new territory. You walk around exploring the new world and come to find out that you're the only human alive. All the other creatures of earth besides the human are still alive. You start to get lonely and sit down for some reflection time.



God comes to your ear and says in a low near sub-sonic level, "chip up buck, i'll throw you a bone."
"A bone?" you say
"Yes buckly, a bone....the radiation from the cataclysm has caused some DNA genetic code corruption. you can fuck any animal or get fucked by any animal and can create babies of a mixed breed...."
"Word G>o>D!" you say "

The story ends here with no moral, but a question to my loyal readers.......

What animal would you have relations with and why?

i sure do love me some barbeque sauce

i read a book the other day. i didn't like the ending. the last line was, "who is going to save us" . it was a children's book called "the rabbits". basically these rabbits come to a land in which some other animals already reside. they, the rabbits that is, take shit over. first using deception, then violence, then some humiliation, and eventually enslavement....the art was amazing(tan). but the last line "who is going to save us" bothered me.....i don't feel like saying why. you ever feel like putting a rusty hook in someone's temple and dragging them through the destruction they have caused. does emposing your own will to make someone suffer make you a sit down kind of a guy. what makes a human a person. 2 eyes, 2 ears, a nose, a mouth, a voice box. is it personality, character......the "ality" of a person creates person like traits. what if a person has no character.....can i eat that person like steak. what if a cow has more character than a human. should i find out before applying the barbeque sauce....

trash bags

life is like trash bags. or rather trash. the bags are the past. we live a day then put the day in the past. throw that shit out. some we keep in our ego the rest we leave in our subcoscience....the shit we really don't want escapes to the unconscience. instead of going to a landfill like trash bags, our life of past lives continuesly in the 4th dimension or in the realms of dark matter. you see, indeed, we are just disposable arts of an inter-dimensional war i like to call the 3-4 battle of eternity.